Why The Left Hates My Marriage

I go weeks without reflecting on the difference in the quantity of melanin between my lovely wife and myself. I really do. Then somebody on Twitter has to go and weigh in on the subject.

This week it was a blue-check named Clayburn Griffin, who responded to a tweet featuring non-PC comedian Bill Burr and his wife Nia.

Now, I know it’s only March, but we have a serious candidate for the coveted “worst tweet of year” award. There’s so much to unpack here: the sly slander (I’m not saying he’s racist…), the jaw-dropping condescension (sex servant!), the have-it-both ways argumentation so typical of wokeism (if you’re against interracial marriage, you’re racist, if you marry someone of a different race, you’re racist)…Mr. Griffin managed to pack an amazing amount of excrement into one tweet*. Hats off.

In the days since this tweet appeared in my feed I’ve done some reflection. Though to know my wife is to love her, there have been times over the years when the “ebony and ivory” aspect of our relationship has raised some eyebrows. Back in the day, the reaction generally came from the right, usually traceable to a certain unnamed Christian college with an infamous anti-interracial dating policy. Thankfully, it’s been a long time since there have been any reactions to us from that direction.

Indeed, as illustrated by the above tweet, most of the angst directed at “inter-racial” (an inaccurate term) couples in this day and age comes from the left. And after some serious contemplation, I have some theories as to why.

Theory 1: Our relationship disrupts their narrative.

The current source of leftist power is racial antagonism. Reconciliation is impossible because white people are incorrigible oppressors and people of color are eternal victims. Or at least they are supposed to be.

Critical Theory is based on this oppressed vs. oppressor dynamic. Without it, it rots on the vine. So when a “person of color” unites with a…I don’t know…person of non-color in a covenant relationship based on trust, love, and mutual respect, it shines the light on the absurdity of the “woke” position. And if that kind of thing became common…well…nobody would be sending money to the race-baiters and political action groups any more. And we can’t have that!

So it’s better to cast aspersions on the motives behind the relationship. They’re not in love…no…this is just one more example of a white man oppressing a black woman. See?

Theory 2: Our children mess with their categories.

For “wokeism” to work there have to be clear-cut divisions between antagonistic groups. The children of “mixed marriages” (another term I despise) do not fall easily into said categories. Want an example? People insisted upon calling Barak Obama our “first black president” even though his mother was as white as the driven snow.

This is the reason, by the way, that quotas and other race-based policies have been slower to take hold here in Brazil. Down here the races have been mixing for generations, with the result that it is much more difficult to pinpoint who is the helpless oppressed and who is the nefarious oppressor.

A while back I had a talk with my sons about this very issue, which I reproduced here.

Theory 3: What they really hate is marriage in general.

In the above tweet, the tell is in the term “sex servant”. This has been the trope that the left has propagated since the days of Karl Marx. Today’s “smash the patriarchy” mantra is based on this very view: that traditional marriage is little more than glorified sex slavery. The fact that a woman, of whatever color, could actually want such a relationship and find happiness and fulfillment therein, is mind-boggling to them.

And for those who understand, the fact that a healthy marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His church must be an added source of frustration. I unpacked this thought a little more in the message I preached at the wedding of our friends Francivaldo and Gessica (who, perish the thought, also have different skin pigmentation).

With all these factors in mind, I would like to encourage the Church along the following lines: when a young Christian man and a young Christian woman of differing ethnic backgrounds begin to show an attraction for each other, this blooming relationship should be embraced and celebrated by their fellow believers, for a number of reasons. It affirms the doctrine of Imago Dei, it shows that true racial reconciliation is possible in Christ, and…perhaps best of all…it drives the left absolutely bonkers.

*You will perhaps not be surprised to learn that Mr. Burr’s wife, Nia, responded to the above tweet in a way that was at once entirely appropriate to the situation and wildly inappropriate for this site.


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  1. Excellent article. When I was a teenager in Jamaica, my best friend told me that it was better to marry into one’s culture than one’s color (or level of melanin).

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